It’s been over 9 months now, slowly but surely I’m feeling more and more like my old self. Scratch that a better version of myself, one my mom would be proud of. The hole in my heart is gradually healing. I won’t lie and say that there aren’t days (or moments) that I still break down and lose it, because grief takes longer than months or even years to overcome but I’m doing better. I miss you so much mom, losing you has been harder than my mind is able to grasp.
Take a moment out of your day to really just breathe and collect yourself. No matter how long or short you can give yourself try to make the moment possible. You deserve it.
***taking my own advise: stopped for coffee and some coffee cake before heading to work. It’s gonna be a good day.
It’s been a few days since I’ve been able to post anything. Every time I try to write, I can’t do it. I’ll even admit I really haven’t been in the best of moods. Grieving is a hard thing to do because it’s different for everyone, one thing to remember on your journey is it’s okay not to be okay. It’s okay to have bad days here and there, just as it’s okay to have a good day. Personally for me I am currently struggling to have good days because immediately after I realize the day is going in my favor, I start to feel guilty; and although that sucks it’s okay to feel like that too. I’ll be perfectly happy and the second I realize it, I start to beat myself up. Sometimes it’s for the stupidest reasons too, but mainly it’s because I hate that I’m able to carry on with my day and then I’ll notice I hadn’t thought of her for a couple of hours and that’s when guilt, anger, and depression take back over. It’s not like I don’t want to be happy again, because in all honesty I really do… I’m just not done being sad yet.
No matter how you feel, it’s important to allow yourself to express those feelings because it only makes you human. I found this self care menu and I thought I’d share it because what better way to get yourself out of a rut than spending a little extra time loving yourself.
Remember to give yourself credit for the days you’ve made it when you thought you couldn’t.