I graduated highschool 6 years ago, and all along I’ve been taking college courses but have struggled to finish my degree. I’ve jumped from university to university even switching my major a couple times too because nothing seemed to be a good fit for me. This morning it felt like all my hopes and dreams were crashing down because the only course I had left to take in order to graduate was completely full. I immediately called my academic advisor begging for her help because I just needed this one thing, I just need to finally graduate.

A few months back I remember sitting down with my mom telling her how excited I was because I was sure this year would be the year I finally graduated college, the year I would finally make my parents proud… As I saw her growing weaker I kept thinking to myself that I just needed a few more months to make it happen. I begged God to give her strength to make it to my graduation, because I just needed to make her proud… And when she passed that was one of the things that started to eat me up inside, I never gave her that proud parent moment… all because I couldn’t get my shit together, all because “nothing seemed to be a good fit.”

Back to the conversation I had with my academic advisor this morning, it was absolutely soul crushing when she told me my graduation might be postponed another semester if I couldn’t register for that class. I didn’t even know what else to say to after that, I just wanted to curl up into a ball and drown into a sea of depression and guilt that even after all this time I couldn’t keep my word… I couldn’t graduate this year like I told mom I would. I hung up the phone and started to spiral, graduation was the only thing I was looking forward to since she passed.

A few hours passed and I still couldn’t wrap my mind around the conversation I had this morning with my advisor, this couldn’t be happening… why did it feel like the world was working against me? God why? Why me?

And then it happened… I looked down at my phone and saw a phone number from Arizona calling me, which meant it had to be my school. “Judy? This is Sandra your advisor calling, I have good new… I spoke to the dean and the professor for the course, I went ahead and enrolled you in for your final course… you can go ahead and apply for graduation. Congratulations!” I couldn’t believe it, I couldn’t say or do anything accept thank her over and over again for making it possible. Immediately I texted my sisters to share the good news, I’m still waiting to tell dad later tonight, but the only person I couldn’t tell of course was mom which made things bittersweet. But I can’t help feeling like somehow someway she (mom) was the one who actually made it happen. Thank you mom for always having my back, I’ll be sure to make you proud.